I remember how every year we the regular members of our LA Fitness gym in San Diego would feel somewhat uncomfortable from the increased population of the gym around the holidays. Yet we all knew perfectly well and sometimes even reminded to each other that the increase in gym members was only temporary. By the end of February we would be back to our old comfortable attendance numbers.
Why would so many sign up for their gym membership with the honest intention to start exercising and to become fit only to disappear successfully very soon? I have lived through this gym phenomenon many years and the result would be the same: the majority of the newcomers didn’t last. Why?
These people have made New Year’s resolution to exercise (or lose weight or get into a better shape or all of the above).
Have you done New Year’s resolutions yourself? Did they work for you? If yes, you are the strong one because the whooping 80 percent of those who made New Year’s resolutions don’t get to see the happy results. Instead they inevitably return back to their old way of living and get the same old outcome as before. In fact, 60 percent don’t even bother with resolutions, knowing that they would break their promises anyway.
Let’s start with the definition of a New Year’s resolution. According to the Webster Dictionary, “A New Year’s resolution is a promise to do something differently in the new year.”
So why do so many people break their own promises to themselves?
The answer lies in the subconscious mind.
Do you want to lose weight?
Have you ever asked yourself this: If you would really wanted to lose weight, you would have done it this past year. But you didn’t. What makes you think that the new year will be different?
Do you want to pay off your debts?
If you would really wanted to pay off your debts, you would have done it this past year. But you didn’t. What makes you think that the new year will be different?
Do you want to make more money?
If you wanted to make more money, you would have done it this past year. But you didn’t. What makes you think that the new year will be different?
Do you see the pattern in my questions? And please don’t give me or rather yourself excuses that you tried to be on a diet, but you had to travel; that you incurred unexpected expenses so you couldn’t possibly pay off your debts; and that you couldn’t make more money because your family situation kept you away from your business or you didn’t get a promised to you raise at work.
I don’t try to be mean, instead, I want you to be honest with yourself!
The reasons of any situation or pain or lack can ONLY be found in the subconscious mind.
Guess what will always win the competition between the conscious and subconscious minds? The subconscious, of course.
There are the inside (the subconscious) and the outside (the conscious). If you are trying to affect change on the outside, it is either futile so soon you give up or it is painfully slow and takes a lot of effort.
It is similar to looking in the mirror and blaming the mirror for the blemish on your face, then starting to clean the mirror to get rid of the blemish on the face.
The most effective permanent change must come from the inside vs. be pushed from the outside.
The issues in the subconscious have created long-term outside habits and those habits have already “petrified” because they had been created long time ago. To effect any change or break any habit, you must go into the subconscious mind first.
When you make a New Year’s promise to yourself and then an internal fight begins and after a short while you inevitably surrender to your subconscious and break your own promise. Instead of getting a positive result, you feel guilty and defeated: not the best way to start a new year.
The effective alternative to New Year’s resolutions is a thorough inventory of your habits, behavior and your life.
Instead of promising yourself to lose weight, rather decide to find out what it is that keeps you overweight.
It could be low self-esteem. It could be fear of the “big world.” It could be an old memory of abuse. It could be a present on-going abuse.
The weight is the aftermath, a side effect of a deeply seated trauma, some negative belief about yourself and an associated with it negative feeling, which is manifested on the outside as your unwanted habit or unpleasant condition.
When you are trying to get rid of weight, but the problem of a low self-esteem remains intact, your subconscious mind won’t let you change outside permanently.
Your promise to yourself to lose weight will not work because your subconscious is also serving you and will always win over the conscious mind. Your weight is fulfilling some hidden subconscious purpose that SERVES YOU.
Instead of promising to yourself to lose weight blindly, set a goal to find this hidden purpose, and you will lose weight easily and permanently.
If you want to pay off debts, but you haven’t forgiven people in your life, you will either increase your expenses or pay off the debt and then incur another, even the bigger one.
That’s because it is not the debt, but the burden that you are carrying inside that is reflected outside as a debt that makes all the difference.
Instead of promising to yourself to pay off debts, set a goal to find the hidden burden that you are carrying in your subconscious, and you will pay off your debt.
Instead of promising to yourself to make more money, set a goal to find out why you reject more money, what blocks you on the inside from receiving more money into your life, only then the floodgate will open and you will, indeed, manifest more money.
Here is one of the ways to do a spiritual New Year’s inventory:
Schedule a quiet uninterrupted period of time when you can be alone and undisturbed. Have a pen and paper ready. Sit down, relax, breathe deeply and start writing and pondering the following questions.
1. How have my year been?
2. What was good about my year?
3. What was not so good about my year?
4. What was really bad about my year?
5. Am I feeling satisfied and happy with my life?
6. What should I celebrate?
7. Do I want the next year to be the same or better?
8. What do I need to change inside of me so I can change my outside reality?
Make sure to write a very detailed answer to every question. You will be surprised what will come out of your brain-arm-hand-pen-paper connection.
And here come three million-dollar questions!
1. What is my true heart’s desire?
2. What is it that I truly want to create?
3. Am I living it now?
These are not easy questions, yet they are the most important questions, which you could ever ask yourself. Find the true answer and your new year will be very different without breaking any promises.